If Tommorrow
by Treemeadow
Summary: WITH EPILOGUEWhen Jo is diagnosed with Ovarian cancer, Lizzie has to deal with her feelings of denial and her sudden impulse to become a woman, plus the many ups and downs along the way. Now Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lizzie McGuire, Disney does. I don't own anything except the plot and the program I wrote it on. I think most of you already know this.**

Chapter One: Dealing

Gordo and Lizzie sat down at their usual table during lunch. Gordo had been talking excitedly about a convention taking place at the exhibition centre that he was looking forward to. He was about to suggest that Lizzie accompany him, when he noticed the very solemn look on her face.

"Lizzie…something wrong?"

Lizzie shook her head, wiping away at one eye, "Its nothing, Gordo, just me being a teenage girl again."

Gordo nodded. "I see, one of those 'You wouldn't understand, so just pretend its fine' problems."

Lizzie shrugged. "I guess so."

Gordo picked at his chocolate pudding "I probably would understand you know, " He said after a time.

Lizzie shook her head once more, then sipping on her juice box, she took on a brighter tone.

"It'll all be forgotten by science class, I'm sure!"

With that, Lizzie continued to eat her salad…if that's what it was. However, Gordo could not help noticing the sorrowed expression on his best-friends face. He decided not to take it further at that point though, and after a few minutes silence, he reconvened talking about the convention.

Lizzie did take on a happier countenance during science, at least for the first half, when they were receiving the graded papers from their practical examination.

"I got a b!" She said excitedly

Gordo smiled and placed his A in the back of his notebook. "Good for you, Lizzie!"

It was going well, except maybe for a few groans and snide remarks about various grades by other students. But Lizzie's good mood wasn't to last. Mr Pettus called his class to silence and began explaining their next topic of learning.

"Biology. The study of bios, life. Everything that lives and breaths on this earth is a member of our biosphere. For this unit, we will be concentrating on the area of biology that involves the human body, specifically disease."

A resounding sneer of disgust was heard around the classroom, except for the few…intrigued counterparts.

Lizzie, who had been smiling only a moment before, suddenly became quiet and sad again.

Gordo tapped her on the shoulder "Lizzie?"

Lizzie shrugged "Don't worry." And opened her text book to the specified page. However, she did not read it, she barely even looked at it. Gordo noticed that her eyes had glazed over and she was not focusing on her book at all, in fact, she didn't even seem to be in the room.

Science was the last class for that day. Immediately following the bell, Lizzie slammed her book shut and raced out into the corridor as fast as she could. She managed to run all the way to her locker without bumping into anyone, which was an effort, because through the blurred vision of her tears, she couldn't see much. She reached her locker, opened it, leaned right in as though she was reaching for something and began to cry.

Gordo had followed her right up to that moment, and didn't know what to say. A moment later, Lizzie emerged wiping away the tears from her wet cheeks and red eyes.

"Gordo." She said, barely audible.

"Lizzie, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Gordo, its really nothing."

"That sure is a lot of nothing to be so upset over."

Lizzie smiled her characteristic 'quick' smile and leaned into her locker.

"I don't know anything yet. I promise I'll tell you when I do. But right now I'm just figuring it out for myself."

Gordo sighed. " Ok then…C'mere" he said, offering his arms in embrace. Lizzie willingly accepted the offer of comfort. Hugs were good. Hugs didn't expect problems, or reveal them.

"When you…know more…" Gordo said "Be sure to tell me, I'm right here."

Lizzie stood back "Okay Gordo, thanks." The taking up her bag, she went home.

Twenty minutes later, Lizzie quietly slipped through the door to the house and made her way up the stairs, hoping to go by unnoticed by her family.

Unfortunately, Jo noticed her.

"Lizzie! Hey honey!"

Lizzie stopped in the middle of the stairway, a deep feeling of dread and grief beginning to surge through her.

"Hey Mom."

Jo sighed deeply "Uh, how was school?"

Lizzie shrugged. "Yeah, y'know."

Jo knew Lizzie didn't want to confront her, but she persisted, it was important for Lizzie to get over her grief and begin accepting the situation.

"We got the results back today."

"Oh…yeah?"

Lizzie held her breath, hardly daring to hope.

"They came back positive." Jo's heart began to break when she saw the look of true grief on her baby's face. "Haha, its ironic, isn't it, they say I'm positive, even though it's a negative thing." Her voice did not properly accompany her joke.

"Yeah mom…ironic." Lizzie felt a huge lump in her throat that began to burn, she wanted to escape this, she wanted to be alone and not deal with anything, especially her mom.

"Why don't you come down here, and we can chat a while. It feels like so long."

Lizzie shook her head, she didn't want to do that. She couldn't, it was too hard, too difficult.

"I…I have science homework to do…"

Jo nodded "Oh yeah…what about?"

Lizzie cringed inside. "Nothing. I mean…yeah…biology. Plants and stuff. I guess. I have to go."

With that Lizzie escaped further confrontation with her mother and retreated into her room.

She threw her bag down and slumped on her bed, face down into the pillow. She began to cry out into the cloth, tears of anger and pent up frustration.

"WHY ME! WHY NOW! WHY MY MOM!"

She rolled over, picked up her phone and dialled, waiting a moment for the tone to sound.

"Hello, Gordon residence, David speaking."

"Gordo?"

"Lizzie?"

Lizzie couldn't help it, she tried to hold it back, she had cried, but not in this excess. She began to sob heart wrenchingly into the phone.

"Lizzie? What's wrong?"

"Gordo…I…I j-just found out…Mom has cancer."

End Chapter one.

**Au/Note**

**This is my first fic ever, please be kind…Its based on some life experiences…**

**Basically throughout the rest of the fic, Lizzie deals with her fears and how her mother's condition affects her emergence into womanhood. Basically, Lizzie suddenly realises that her mother might not be around to help her out forever, and suddenly feels the impulse to grow up and separate herself from her mum, before its too late and Lizzie has no mother to help her become a woman.**

**It will deal with the issues Lizzie faces, especially the distance she feels from her mum (Which happens for a lot of teenagers in this situation). I also want to show how Lizzie feels about becoming a woman, the euphemisms, the physical aspect (which only enters slightly). Mostly I Want to deal with the mental and emotional aspect of Lizzie's life as she deals with "growing up' and becoming an adult.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Gordo placed the receiver down on the phone. He let out a huge yawn.

"I guess that's the new record…" After five hours of talking, he was pretty tired.

_Not as tired as Lizzie though, she sounded a wreck_

Gordo stretched out and lay on his back, arms resting under his head.

He wondered how Mrs McGuire was feeling, he certainly didn't know how Lizzie was. Well yes, she did pour out her heart to him, but he didn't entirely understand a lot of what she was saying. Something about, not getting a chance to grow-up properly…

"Oh man, this is one thing no one needed. Why, why, why?" It was now Gordo's turn to ask questions. Being Jewish, he had a deeper plea, a plea to someone higher than he, who he wanted comfort from.

"Please, please let them be okay. Please let Lizzie and Mrs McGuire be okay."

Back at the McGuire house, a family meeting was in session. Everyone was sitting in the family room. Matt was sitting on the floor, playing with the fray of the carpet. Sam was sitting next to Jo on the couch, both were red-eyed, but no-longer crying. Lizzie was standing quietly beside the doorway.

"Lizzie," Said Jo, "Whatcha doin' over there, c'mon and sit down here with your dad and me."

Lizzie shrugged. "Its alright. I'm fine here. Thanks.'

Sam and Jo looked at each other. They knew that the cancer was a very strange thing for the kids to understand, to deal with. They were worried about how Lizzie was suffering from the grief. It was as though she was in a state of denial, and that if she didn't acknowledge her mom, she wouldn't have to face it.

Sam cleared his throat. "Um, guys, y'know what this meetings all about, right?"

"yeah." Echoed Matt and Lizzie.

"Yeah," Sighed Sam "Mom's got a cancer, its in a part of her body called the ovaries…its not that big, because the doctors said they found it early."

"How'd they know to look for it?" Matt asked, slightly more open to the situation than Lizzie was.

"Well," Said Sam "A few weeks back…when your mom was having her special women's check-up, well, the doctor noticed something. That's why mom had that operation, so they could get a tiny bit, and see if it had…cancer. Which it…uh…it d-did."

Everyone went silent. Lizzie was taken aback to see Sam leaning forward with his head in his hands, shoulders shaking. Jo was holding him, they were both crying. She wanted to leave, she wanted to go back up to her room. She wanted to be anywhere, science class even. But not here, not when her parents were like this. It meant that everything that was happening, everything from the past few weeks was real. She wanted to leave, but couldn't. She was glued to the spot and her feet were like lead. She needed to get away.

"D-dad?"

Sam looked up, all eyes were on Lizzie

"Uh…h-how long is this g-gonna take?"

"What?"

"I-I have to do home-homework. Homework. In my room."

Sam let out an exasperated sigh.

"Lizzie! This is important. Can't it wait?"

Lizzie sighed and looked down. That was the last time she'd look them in the eye while they were talking about…the topic.

"Yes sir."

"Okay. Because its so early, there's a huge chance that the treatment will work, so its not all doom and gloom."

_It sure doesn't feel that way_ Lizzie though to herself.

"Well that's it guys. Mom'll be starting her radiotherapy in a few weeks."

Matt looked up, clearly astounded, perhaps even angry.

" A _few weeks_?"

"That's what I said son."

"But…won't that be…too long or something?"

Jo shook her head.

"No, honey, there's some good news, its early enough to wait just a little while. So early, in fact, I have to wait until some of the more…advanced…patients are finished."

One of the many disadvantages of a small suburban public hospital. Waiting lists.

"Will you loose your hair?" Matt asked.

Jo shook her head. "Radiotherapy isn't as strong as chemotherapy. Its just like a really strong x-ray that focuses on the one area, for me, its my ovaries. I wont loose much hair at all."

Lizzie cringed at the thought of radiation concentrating that much on one area.

"Won't that make it spread?" Matt, who was a little less solemn at the thought of radiotherapy than his sister, inquired.

"No, it will be enough to kill off the cancer. I'm not entirely sure just how it works, but its been used for a long time now."

At that moment the phone rang. It was Nana, wanting to know how her baby was.

_Finally _thought Lizzie _A chance to escape_.

She went back up to her room, it was almost nine o' Clock, so she decided to go to bed.

Downstairs, following Nana's call, Jo and Sam were discussing their daughters distance issue.

"Its just not Lizzie! she always comes to me with her problems, she was always so supportive. I don't understand it, Sam, I need her!"

Sam placed a comforting hand on his wife's shoulder.

"I don't know, I've never really _understood _Lizzie since she became an adolescent. I'm guessing she just doesn't want to deal with the whole prospect of your being sick, so she is shutting it out as long as she can by keeping her distance."

Both sigh

"It can't be good for her either." Commented Jo "She needs support as well. I mean, with Matt, he's not at that stage yet, life isn't as awkward for him. But Lizzie is still only finding her feet. Now she has to do that without her m-mother."

With that, Jo broke down, suffering her cancer with the added guilt of feeling responsible for Lizzie's detachment.

Sam shook his head profusely "She is _not _going to do it without her mother, you'll still be here!"

"But I'll be sick and tired and nauseous. I won't be able to listen to her problems."

Sam straightened up. "Then I'll have to, just while your on hiatus."

Jo stopped sobbing and gave Sam an incredulous look.

"Sam…she's a girl, on the verge of womanhood. She won't want to discuss _everything_ with you."

"If she's on the verge of womanhood, then she'll understand that things aren't always as straightforward as the ideal. Now c'mon honey, I think we should go to bed. You look tired, I'm tired. We can face the problems of tomorrow, tomorrow."

_If tomorrow never comes_

_Would you know how much I loved you_

_Did I try in everyway, to show you everyday_

_That you're my only one?_

_And if my time on earth were through_

_And you must face this world without me?_

_Is the love I gave you in the past_

_Gonna be enough to last_

_If tomorrow never comes_

**Au/note**

**Yeah…**

**Just so you know, I know the lyrics to "If tomorrow never comes" are wrong, its from a "new" "revised" Treemeadow edition.**

**If any of you have suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them out. But no flames…im such a sensitive weed…I close up when people stand on me.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Finally back to the sanctity of her room, Lizzie collapsed onto her bed, took Mr Snuggles to her chest and tried to force herself asleep. Rolling over onto her side, she felt a hard metallic jab dig into her side. Looking down she noticed her belt buckle had come undone and was digging into her.

_No duh, Lizzie, your still in your clothes._

Begrudgingly she rolled off the bed, stripped to her underwear and pulled a pair of pink and purple pyjamas from out of her wardrobe. She went to put it on, but hesitated when she noticed the pink rabbit on the front.

_That's just a bit too happy and innocent for me…_ Lizzie surprised herself at this thought.

"Happy and innocent? Maybe tomorrow night." She threw the piece aside and began to look for another set of night gear. She found that each of her pyjamas had some "cute" feature about it which made her sneer at it. She treated each of them as though they were some piece of fashion that she would be scrutinized for.

"Stop being such a teenager Lizzie!" She cried to herself, exasperated as she sat down on her bed, still clad in her underwear. At this point she noticed herself in the mirror. She flicked her hair aside and smiled. She loved her smile. Standing up, she cocked her head to one side. She was very happy with herself. She never saw herself as 'fat' or 'thin', just healthy. She remembered how jealous she and Miranda had been when all the other girls were wearing bras and they weren't (Though the 6th grade taunts by Kate did assist in this envy) but she was long over that. In fact, she was long over the whole "body change scary stage" that used to freak her out so much only months before.

"_Maybe your becoming a woman"_ Came a voice from within. Lizzie mouthed the words over, before now, she had never referred to someone as being a woman unless they were in their 30s and having kids and stuff. Never, ever had she referred to herself as one. Yes, she recalled how her mom and health teachers would all use the phrase "The day you become a woman." in reference to the menarche and getting periods, but that day had come and gone for her and still she felt the same. Lizzie McGuire, age 14. Teenager, not a woman. But looking at herself in the mirror, she saw a different side. She saw the shape of a woman, the chest of a woman, she even saw the face of a woman. The only thing missing was…

"The eyes. They're still a little kids. They don't know anything yet." she whispered to herself.

Suddenly a weird sense of awkwardness flooded through her and she grabbed the nearest shirt and jumped into bed, pulling the covers up high. Reaching over, she turned of the light, just in time. Moments later, Jo opened the door and peeped in.

_My poor Lizzie. I'm sorry, your still so young._

In the room adjacent, Matt and Sam were having a good old fashioned 'father to son'.

"Dad, what was up with Lizzie. Why doesn't she care?"

Sam was sitting beside Matt, who was lying down in bed, unashamed of the fact he still cuddled a teddy bear.

"Its not that she doesn't care, it's that she finds it so frightening, she makes herself pretend its not happening."

"What do you mean?"

Sam, who had never had a grasp on the workings of his daughters mind during her adolescence, had to think on this for a while.

"Well, its like this, son." He began…pausing for a long moment

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Well, Lizzie is a teenaged girl. For her, life is already changing enough for herself without having to deal with the changes of the bigger things."

"Changes? You mean like, she's always getting mad. At me, specifically among others."

Sam chuckled "Yeah, you could say that. You see, when you start changing from kid to adult, its not just your body that grows up, your mind has to as well. Otherwise the world would be full of the antics of…" Sam paused a moment to consider the world if Matt remained exactly the same in his adult years. Shaking the intrusive thought away, he reconvened. "So, for Lizzie, her mind has gone into stress mode. She feels like she can deal with it better if she keeps her distance from any big problems. In this case, she doesn't feel up to confronting Mom's cancer, so she hides away from it."

"But Dad, it's not her problem. Its Mom's. Isn't that selfish? Shouldn't she support Mom? Like us!"

Sam placed a loving hand on his son's shoulders. "She will, in a little while, when she gets used to the situation."

Matt slowly nodded his head.

"So…no getting angry at Lizzie for not showing enough support?"

"That's it kiddo."

"What about me? Aren't I going to "grow-up" soon?"

"Well, son, it's a little more complicated then that. Your twelve, so your already changing."

"I know Dad, we did the whole thing last year in gym class."

Sam breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, there you go then."

Giving his son a quick peck on the head, he got up to leave, stopping at the door to turn the light off.

"Everything'll be alright, kiddo. We'll take it one day at a time."

"G'night Dad."

"G'Night Matt."

A/N

Yeah, short chapter. I'm sort of suffering from 'Heavy influx of idead' which have blocked up the progress. I have so many ideas, but i dont want to choke the story. Later dayz.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Gordo knocked at the door to the McGuire home, waiting for Lizzie. A moment later, Sam greeted him

"Oh, hey Gordo, Lizzie'll be down in a minute or so."

"Ok, uh, thanks."

Sam shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. "Uh, listen Gordo, I don't know if you know anything yet…"

Gordo nodded "Yeah…its alright, I know. Lizzie told me. Sorry…I guess."

"Oh, don't be. Its looking pretty good at this point. Not too far along so no real cause for any worry."

Gordo sighed "Oh, that is good!"

_Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou! _He called out in his heart.

After a few more moments of silent waiting, Sam turned around and called out to his absent daughter

"LIZZIE! Gordo's at the door! Hurry it up kiddo!"

Upstairs, Lizzie was hurriedly throwing clothes into the wardrobe.

"I AM GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!"

She rushed about, trying to shove all her tried-on outfits into unseen spots, to later be re-located into their correct location. She went to kick a hairbrush out of the way when she tripped on a bra and landed on the floor, with a huge thud, an even huger yelp and a sickening tear.

Jo was right outside the room at this point and ran in to investigate

"Lizzie!"

Lizzie was lying flat on her belly, legs sprawled, with a large rip in the hem of her skirt.

"Lizzie, Honey, are you okay!" Jo asked with a chuckle.

She held her hand out to Lizzie to pull her up, which she accepted.

"Thanks."

Jo stood there a moment, expecting Lizzie to initiate a conversation, or say something.

"Uh..Mom, I sorta have to change!"

"Oh…right" Jo was taken aback at this comment. Lizzie was usually open with her about her body, and never held any reservations about changing in front of her.

_She's growing up, she'll get over it._

Jo nodded, opened and closed her mouth a few times and pointed backwards.

"Um…Gordo is downstairs waiting. When you change, put the skirt in my room, I'll mend it for you."

Lizzie was searching through her wardrobe.

"Yeah, whatever, I have to change now."

Jo sighed and made to leave "Have a good day at school."

After she left, Lizzie found a half-decent pair of jeans that would suffice.

She suddenly felt a little guilty about being so short with her mom. Tears sprung to her eyes and the familiar burning sensation filled the back of her throat.

_Why does it have to be like this! I am so stupid! I can't get anything right! _

"GRRRRR!"

With that, Lizzie left the bedroom in an even angrier mood than she had when she woke up that morning. It was angry Lizzie that greeted Gordo at the door.

"Hey Lizzie! What's up?"

"Lets go already!"

Lizzie grabbed Gordo by the arm and stormed out of the house.

"Uh…see you later Mr McGuire!" Gordo called out as he was dragged out the gate, Sam waved as a response and went inside.

Lizzie let go of Gordo as they reached the bus stop.

Gordo straightened his shirt out before looking up at Lizzie with a single raised eyebrow.

"What?" She retorted.

"Uh…nothing…" He replied, before looking down at the ground. "Sorry."

Lizzie didn't respond. She looked down the road, waiting for the bus.

Suddenly her angry mood was gone, and she felt a little guilty again.

"I'm sorry Gordo. I was a little hasty back there."

"No problem."

"I'm having a bad day. Week. Four weeks."

Gordo reached out and touched her on the hand. "I know. Its okay. I didn't take anything to heart."

Lizzie smiled. "You're a good friend Gordo!"

"Yeah. You can be too."

Lizzie snorted "Gee, now I feel appreciated!"

"Huh?"

Lizzie shook her head. "Nothing. Its just, I don't think I'm in all "chummy" with the guys at home right now."

Gordo nodded "Yeah. Maybe they have other things on their minds at the moment. Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all."

She turned to face Gordo, the tears so close to the top as they had been over the passed few days.

"Why wouldn't it? I've been a jerk!"

"How so?"

"Because…because I don't care! Because I don't want to care! I'm too preoccupied with myself! I'm selfish!"

Gordo shook his head "No, you do care, you have to for it to worry you so much. But why do you think you don't want to care?"

Lizzie flung her arms skywards "Your asking me? I have no freaking idea, Gordo! I want to, but I don't want to. I have no idea. I..I" She broke down, the trears leaving shining wet syreaks on her cheeks.

"I wish none of this was happening."

Gordo placed his arm around her shoulder. "I know. Its alright. Your dad said, well, he said it was still early. He said she has a good chance, y'know?"

Lizzie hiccuped "I k-know. I dunno, Gordo, I know its supposed to be all okay. I don't know why I feel like this. Its one of those teenager things."

Gordo nodded. "Yeah. Blame it on biology. Speaking of which…is this why you were upset about it yesterday?"

She shrugged, "I guess so." At that moment the bus rolled around the corner. She wiped her eyes and hoisted her back-pack onto her shoulder.

"Bus!" She cried

"Bus!" Replied Gordo

And with that, the bus pulled up.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five.

School for Gordo and Miranda that day was rough, to say in the least. Lizzie's mood had managed to sail up and down erratically throughout. By the end of the day, Lizzie had burst into tears twice, gotten herself into trouble with a teacher three times and managed to send a seventh grader crying to the bathroom at least once. As the school day drew to a close, Gordo, Lizzie and Miranda got on the bus (Miranda had _unfortunately _run late that morning.)

Lizzie slumped down in her seat, followed by her gal-pal.

"What a day, this has been the worst day of school ever!" She said to her.

"Yeah, I mean, it was bad enough doing the whole "What's inside your tar-laden smoked-out lungs" with Mr Pettus, but actually touching a real-live lung…yech, I don't think I'll ever see an ash-tray in the same way again." Replied Miranda

Lizzie gave a discontented grunt-sigh "Miranda! That is _not_ what I meant. I meant, the teachers have been picking on me _all day_!"

Miranda glanced over at Gordo, who was seated in the seat adjacent, across the aisle. He raised his eyebrows and grimaced the "knowing" grimace.

Miranda sighed and turned back around to face Lizzie, who was off on a tangent about the unfairness and inequalities demonstrated by the various staff in the school.

"I mean, seriously here, a detention because I giggled in class. They were asking for it! Who doesn't find the term 'quantity surveying' slightly funny?"

"Oh…I sure don't, you were totally in the right…"

Miranda had gradually become more confused about Lizzie's moodiness during the day. She knew that Lizzie had her moments, like every single teenager out there, but she had become increasingly more unbearable. She was glad that the day was done and she could go home and relax. Miranda had no concerns for anything, because there were no problems she was aware of. Gordo had assumed Lizzie would have told her about it, however she didn't. He was tempted, sorely tempted to tell Miranda for himself as an excuse for Lizzie's behaviour but he knew it wasn't his place and he left it at that, praying that Lizzie would swing into a higher mood for the next day.

Miranda let Lizzie's angry chattering float to the back of her range of hearing for the remainder of their journey homewards. She noticed however, as they turned onto their street, that Lizzie had become quiet and sad-faced.

"Heres us!" Exclaimed Gordo as the three stood up to make their leave

"Yay us." Replied Lizzie sarcastically

They got off and stood in a circle on the pavement. They stood there for a few moments, before Gordo left.

"I'll uh, see you guys tomorrow then." He said, then turning to Lizzie "Call me if anything comes up." He gave her a quick hug and walked away.

Miranda felt like leaving too, before Lizzie's mood changed yet again.

"Yeah, I guess I'd better be getting home too."

Lizzie nodded, but didn't say or do anything.

"Bye." Miranda walked away.

Inside herself, Lizzie was fighting with a decision on whether or not to call after Miranda or let her walk away. She had to choose. She didn't want to be alone, but she didn't want to be at home. It was Miranda or going home.

"Miranda, wait!"

She turned around, Lizzie's eyes brimming with wet tears, again.

"Uh, what's wrong Lizzie? you've been upset all day!"

Lizzie shook her head and looked skywards.

It was Miranda's turn to use the grunt-sigh. With a flare of frustration, she grabbed Lizzie by the shoulders and looked her square in the face. She was going to find out what was troubling Lizzie if it meant hurting her!

"What is the matter? Is it at home? Are your parents fighting?"

Lizzie gave one half-hearted laugh

"If only!"

Miranda lost it. She was fed-up with Lizzie's avoiding conversation and moodiness. She didn't want to loose it, but she had been storing her feelings all day too, and she lost control when she let them out.

"WHAT IS IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW!"

Lizzie was taken aback by the sudden change in Miranda's face.

"Huh?"

"LIZZIE! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO KNOW IF YOU DON'T TELL ME!"

Lizzie broke out of Miranda's grasp and walked backwards a few steps. Her breath became rapid, quickly turning from sharp intakes to sobs. Throwing her back-back on the pavement, she sat down beside it and broke down. Miranda stood there, unsure of how to react for a very long moment.

After the never-ending minute, Lizzie looked up at her closest girl-friend, the tears leaving wet streaks down her face.

"Miranda, I'm sorry I'm such a mess. My mom has cancer."

Her friend gasped. "What?"

Lizzie shed more heart-broken tears.

"My mom has cancer and I don't know what to do."

Miranda felt very guilty. She hadn't meant to be so quick-tempered with her. Like her friend, she slumped down on the pavement next to her. She didn't know what to say. There was only one thing she really could say.

"Oh Lizzie…"

It was all she needed to say. She threw her arms around her closest friend in a tight embrace, wrenched with the sobs that both teens were now sharing.

Lizzie walked into the house just as Sam was calling all for dinner.

"Lizzie! Your late. Really late. By two hours."

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "I was caught up with Miranda, no big deal."

"Yeah, well, dinners ready, so hurry up, wash your hands and be right down."

He went into the kitchen. Lizzie became furious. Whatever mood she had been when she entered the house, it was now completely different.

_He actually thinks he needs to remind me to wash my hands! Who does he think I am? Matt!_

Although she tried not to by reminding herself it was just a force of habit with her dad, Lizzie couldn't refrain from dwelling on the tiny exchange of words that had just occurred. As a result, ten minutes later as she sat down at the dinner table, she was still in the very same angry state-of-mind.

Sam failed to recognise this as he scooped some mashed potato onto her plate.

"Here you go honey! Two-scoops?"

She lost it.

"_Dad!_"

"Hold on a sec sweetheart…"

"_DAD!"_

Sam looked up. "Yea…Yeah?"

"WHY DO YOU INSIST ON TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD!"

He was confused. "I wasn't aware I had been…"

"WELL YOU ARE, I AM SICK TO DEATH OF IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The various members of the McGuire household considered this fire-play of words differently. Sam was extremely confused. Jo was between slightly mad at and slightly understanding of her daughter. Matt found it to be the perfect time to interfere

"For goodness' sake Lizzie! He was being nice!"

Lizzie turned on Matt

"MATT YOU ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THIS CONVERSATION!"

"What conversation? You've declared war on Dad!"

"GRRRRRR! EVERYBODY JUST _LEAVE ME ALONE_!"

With that, just like that, Lizzie stood up, slammed her chair under the table and stormed upstairs. Seconds later, the remaining three McGuires flinched as they heard the resounding slam of her bedroom door.

Jo sighed. Sam sighed. Even Matt sighed.

"Don't worry honey." Jo sympathised with her husband. "Its probably PMS."

"Yeah Dad." Matt commented "Psycho Maniac Sister!"

"MATT! That's enough." Sam chided " Eat your puberty!…err, potato. Eat your dinner!"

**A/N**

**Poor Liz, I wish I didn't have to make her sooo moody, but I remember being 14 (oh yeah, soo long ago? what? three years?). Lol, but it was fun trying to find an angry mood that suited her. Keep up the reviews people! I do love them ever-so-much!**

**Laterz!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six.

Lizzie was in her room. It was morning, or more accurately, the morning after her dinner-time outburst. Her stomach made an impressive gurgling sound, reminding Lizzie of the fact she hadn't eaten anything since lunch the day before. Dressed and downstairs she decided to skip once again on the family meal, instead grabbing an apple and juice box. She ate them during her half-an-hour longer wait at the bus-stop. Miranda and Gordo arrived only minutes before the bus. Miranda looked somewhat nervous.

_She doesn't know what to say is all, Lizzie._

Gordo looked between the two confusedly

"Well…we are all articulate this fine morning!" He said, swinging his arm.

The two girls giggled and began talking about girl stuff. Gordo felt left-out, but at least it wasn't awkward. At school, the first class of the day was the favourite gym class.

Neither Lizzie, nor Miranda were looking forward to this, Gordo wasn't too keen either.

In the locker-room, Lizzie was devising a plan to be excused from the "Healthier Hearts" cardio-combo session, involving many push-ups and extremely sore thigh-muscles.

Her devising found her sitting in a hunched over position on the stands, feigning excruciating pain. Miranda was sitting beside her, whispering into her ear

"Lizzie, are you nuts, Coach Kelly will never fall for it! Remember Claire, she really _did_ have cramps, and Coach only cut her crunches in half!"

"I don't care Miranda! Maybe I'll just ask to go to the bathroom and stay in there!"

"Lizzie!-"

Miranda was cut off by the approach of Coach Kelly and Gordo

"What seems to be the problem girls?"

"Uh…" Miranda started "Lizzie has cramps…"

Kelly shifted her stern gaze from Miranda to Lizzie.

"That so McGuire?"

Lizzie, who had been trying to force tears into her eyes (successfully) looked up at the teacher and winced.

"Yes ma'am…"

Kelly looked thoughtful. Gordo looked decidedly uncomfortable, mixed with concern it created an almost painful expression on his face. Lizzie had to look back down to stop from blowing her cover with laughter.

"Maybe…" Reasoned Miranda "She could go to sick-bay? And lie down?"

Coach Kelly looked very uncertain.

"Technically, this doesn't count as sickness…as you all know."

Lizzie knew she was loosing and fast, she needed to come up with a trump card quickly, before she found herself skipping-rope while jogging around the track-field.

"OH!" She doubled over, nearly falling off the chair and began to 'cry'

Miranda looked shocked for a moment but caught on quickly.

"Oh Lizzie! Its real bad isn't it!" She cooed sympathetically as she rubbed her friends back. "Maybe if she could call her mom to get permission for a Panadol or something?"

Lizzie stiffened up for a moment, but didn't drop her charade, she wouldn't really have to call her mother, would she?

Gordo felt very out-of-place among the three females, but he hardly considered it appropriate to excuse himself at that precise moment. He didn't want to appear uneasy about female problems.

"Uh…do…you want a glass of water Lizzie?"

Lizzie shook her head. "But I'd love a heat-pack."

Gordo didn't realise she wasn't being serious

"I have no idea where to get one…"

Coach Kelly sighed and pulled out a hall pass. "She doesn't need one Gordon, and we don't have them at school, just ice-packs. Sanchez," She said handing the hall-pass to Miranda "Take McGuire to the nurses office and give them this note, its to make sure her parents are requested permission for pain-relief drugs. Go on, be back as soon as she gets them."

Miranda had Lizzie up and out before she had a moment to realise what happened

"You are gonna be in soo much trouble if in one week you really do have cramps, and she'll say your faking!"

"Shut up Miranda, by then we'll be doing softball, that's hardly tasking sport!"

The two slowly made their way to the nurses room. Lizzie stopped short of knocking and grabbed Miranda's hand before she did.

"Miranda wait! I can't call my mom!"

Miranda looked sceptical "Why not?"

"Because, one, she knows I'm not on for another three weeks and two, I don't want her to know I faked and three…I don't wanna call her."

Miranda sighed. "What about your dad, does he know?"

Lizzie looked disgusted "I absolutely hope he does not!"

"Then he can give permission, you don't even have to say why!"

"What if the nurse calls him?"

"Then she does, c'mon its not that bad, he does know you get it right?"

"Of course…I think…I never actually say anything about it around him…its only Mom I ever go to." Lizzie went quiet and considered the words she had just used.

_What if I can't go to Mom anymore? Argh my life sucks._

Lizzie stamped her foot hard on the floor.

"My life sucks!"

Just then the door opened and the nurse stuck her head out.

"Yes girls? Something wrong?"

Miranda decided to do the talking.

"Coach Kelly sent us, Lizzie is having period pain…we need to call her dad for pain-relief permission."

The Nurse nodded,

"What's his name and number?"

Lizzie looked up "Can I do it? We uh…have a _code_…yeah, a code we use."

Miranda caught on quickly "Uh, yeah" She nodded " He gets really uncomfortable…"

The Nurse sighed "I know, they freak out when they think their daughter is growing up."

She opened the door fully. "Come on through girls."

Lizzie and Miranda moved into the room and sat down on two chairs. The nurse dialled the code into the system and handed the hand-piece to Lizzie.

"Just call your number, when you're done come get me and I'll tell him how much I'll give you."

She left, Lizzie toyed with the phone nervously.

"You will soo get detention if you don't do this." Miranda cautioned.

"Its not the worst thing in the world."

"It is when they won't believe you next time it happens."

Sighing, Lizzie called Sam.

"Hello, Sam McGuire's cell-phone, Sam speaking!"

"Uh…hi Dad!"

"Oh, Lizzie! What's wrong?"

"Um, I'm not sure how to say this Dad, but I need your permission for Panadol."

"Why? Are you hurt?"

"Uh…sort of…not really. Um, can you just say yes?"

"I need to know why?"

Lizzie sighed annoyingly "Girls stuff Dad!"

Sam didn't respond.

"Well? Dad?"

"Uh…why didn't you call your mother?"

"I dunno, I just called you."

Sam remained silent for a long moment.

"Lizzie, did something bad happen?"

Lizzie looked shocked, "What? No, nothing bad happened, I just need your permission, look, I'll hand you over to the school nurse so she can say you've given it, ok?"

"Yeah, sure…"

A second later the voice of the nurse sounded on the line, Lizzie hung up and waited.

Miranda sighed and shuffled her feet, giving Lizzie a "I hope you know what your doing" look.

"I hope you know what your doing, Lizzie McGuire!"

Lizzie groaned. "Shut up Miranda."

Seconds later the nurse came out and popped two Panadol's into Lizzie's palm, who then excused herself to the water fountain, supposedly to take them, but really to shove them down the drain.

"Well, on the bright side, we're out of gym." She said after dusting away the remnant powder.

"Yeah!" Miranda agreed, "And the fish won't get headaches either, you've done a good deed unto the world, Lizzie."

Lizzie smiled and looked about her.

"What do we do now?"

Miranda shrugged "Coach Kelly said we had to go back to class."

"But I don't feel the effects of the Panadol yet!"

"C'mon, I'm not gonna let you tell more than two lies in one day, we are going back to class." Miranda grabbed Lizzie by her arm and pulled her back to gym, where the two spent the rest of the class sitting on the stands.

After changing, Gordo approached the two with an air of concern.

"Hey, uh, are you ok now?"

Lizzie burst into laughter. "Gordo! Of course I'm alright!"

Gordo shook his head and looked quizzical "What? But you…the…what?"

Miranda shook her head and leaned in real close, "Gordo, she was faking."

"Faking?" He said quite loudly

"Gordo," Lizzie reprised, "Shhhh!"

He shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know, um, I'm not a…girl, or anything, I'm a guy, but, doesn't it seem a little, I dunno…dubious…to use your…womanhood as an excuse?"

Miranda stuck her tongue out and Lizzie smirked.

"I wouldn't call it womanhood Gordo," She said, "Rather, a pain in the neck."

"Or gut." Added Miranda

"Besides." Said Lizzie "The whole idea of those, organs, suck, I mean, extra organs only provide the possibility of getting you sick or hurt. Look at guys, just thinking about wedging out on a pole makes them cringe."

Gordo nodded knowingly.

"I guess, well, guys don't have it that way. We aren't considered men until, well, ages. And we don't get to use adolescence as an excuse. Girls can get out of heaps of things guys can't. Whats more, when physically they are women, they don't want to be called it. A lot of guys would kill to be called men. It all seems a bit…un-balanced to me."

They stopped at the water-fountain while Miranda got a drink.

"By the way," Inquired Gordo, "What did you do with the Panadol?"

Lizzie smiled and looked at the fountain.

"Lets just say there has been an increase in Stone…d Fish populations."

The two girls laughed and headed towards English class, leaving an even more confused Gordo standing at the water-fountain.

"Stoned fish, that was pretty good Lizzie…" Echoed from Miranda down the hall.

**A/N**

**Lol...This Fanfic was born out of a serious case of writers block, which should more acurately be called Writers Fog! Its also really hard writing American, I keep on wanting to say stuff they just don't seem to say. Like, instead of a "Drink of water" its "glass of water." and water fountain instead of bubbler, and gym instead of P.D.H.P.E ( Personal Development Health and Physical Education) So, to all, thankyou for the reviews. I will catch you later. Keep up the good reviewing!**

**(BTW, is my 'american' right?)**

**(Imi, you musn't answer)**

**(HAHA, Your name is on now)**

**Later dayzies**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

That afternoon in the McGuire household, Lizzie was in sour mood. Science class following lunch was extremely awkward for her, Mr Pettus had asked her to read out the chapter on tissue diseased with cancer. Everyone else in the class had thought she stumbled and tripped over her words as a result of nervousness. The whole situation had left Lizzie feeling frustrated again. Following her dramatic return home with the slamming of the front-door, Lizzie slinked into the kitchen and grabbed a juice-box out of the refrigerator. She moved into the living-room, slumped down on the couch with her one leg extended across it lengthways, a recognisable sign that she did not want to be bothered. Grabbing the remote she flicked on the Television and proceeded to watch the only good thing on, a melodramatic soap about the lives of depressed rich and famous people. It made her feel better. Moments later the phone rang. Throughout the house bellowed four separate voices making the same request to nobody.

"Could you get that?"

The phone continued ringing.

Lizzie looked around and behind her, Jo came running into the room and answered the phone on speaker.

"Hello, Jo residence, McGuire speaking! Oops, Uh, sorry, McGuire residence, Jo speaking!"

"Hello Jo, this is Imogene Baker, I'm the nurse at Hillridge Junior High."

Lizzie turned the volume of the TV down slightly. She began to get nervous, but she knew that making a quick exit would make it obvious that she knew what was the call was about.

"Oh, hello, how can I help you?" Jo asked, oblivious to the situation during gym that morning.

"Nothing much, just wanted to warn you about the panadols Lizzie took this morning, they were out of date."

"Out of date? Oh dear!"

"Don't worry ma'am, she'll be ok, she just might feel nauseous. They weren't too over date, only two months. In case she feels ill, it might be worth keeping an eye on her."

Lizzie groaned, her mother didn't notice.

"Oh dear, I didn't know she took any at all!"

"Don't worry, ma'am, just routine monthly issues. She'll be perfectly fine."

"Monthly issues? Oh, well, thankyou Miss…err"

"Baker."

"Yes. Have a goodnight."

"You too."

Jo hung turned off the speaker phone and turned to face her daughter, who had re-raised the volume on the TV and appeared to be absorbed in a cat fight between too aspiring brides-to-be.

"Lizzie? Is it true? Are you three weeks early?"  
Lizzie shrugged.

"I dunno."

Jo came over to the couch and tried to shove Lizzie's legs off. Lizzie stiffened them in an attempt to throw her mother off. Jo resigned and sat on the armrest.

"Of course you know. If your this early, maybe your feeling stressed or something!"

Lizzie scrunched up her nose. "I thought it worked the opposite way!"

Jo sighed. "A lot of things are out of whack in this house right now." She trailed off for a moment, Lizzie glanced sideways, but glued them on the pot-plant above the TV when Jo caught her eye. Suddenly she lurched forward and put her hand on Lizzie's forehead. She swiped at it and ducked.

"MOM! I'm trying to watch Beverly Hills Blues!"

"I'm sorry honey, I just want to make sure your not sick or something."

"I'm not sick."

"Yes, but I can't help but feel your Dad and I have been neglecting you a bit. I mean, with the cancer and all, we've had a lot to deal with these few weeks."

Lizzie sighed angrily.

"I'm ok! Really!"

Jo chuckled. "I know, I know, but you're my baby, I just wanna hug you and keep you happy!"

Jo placed a loving arm around Lizzie in a tight squeeze. Lizzie let it stay for a moment before leaning out of it, pretending to reach for the other remote, hoping Jo would quit with the 'public' display of emotion.

"Awe, c'mon Lizzie! Can't ya let your mom give ya a hug!"

Lizzie gave a nasal sigh. Jo laughed.

"Oh these teenager days! Why, before you know it you'll be all grown up and womanly!"

That was it, Lizzie had taken the last straw and Jo had used it to mix chocolate milk. She really couldn't take the over sentimental 'mother-daughter' moment.

"Mom!" Lizzie shut off the TV and stood up. "Don't worry! I'm not early! I'm not on at all. I just used it as an excuse to get out of Kelly's boot-camp, now if you'll excuse me, I have homework to do!" Lizzie stood and made it to the door before Jo made a reaction.

"Now hold on young lady, you are _not_ excused! Come here this minute and tell me why you lied like that! And convinced the nurse to give you drugs!'

Lizzie stomped her right foot and about-faced.

"Mom! Please, I am 14! I can choose how I want to use my excuses! And I didn't convince them, I even threw it out!"

"How did you get them? Your not supposed to"

"I called Dad, alright! Its his fault too!"

Jo looked confused for an moment, then the hurt creeped onto her face.

"Dad? Why…you always call me when you have problems…"

"I knew that you would know I was lying!"

"No! I would have been concerned for my daughter's health!"

"C'mon Mom! Seriously, your always going on about how I'm _almost a woman, _but you won't give me space to make my own decisions, and when I make the ones you don't like, you get mad!"

"Lizzie! I'm afraid I can't trust you with big decisons, how can I consider you a woman if I can't trust you'll make the right choices!"

"Oh C'MON MOM, IT'S HARDLY AS THOUGH ADULTS DON'T MAKE MISTAKES. YOU MAKE MISTAKES!"

"LIZZIE! I think you need to spend some time in your room!"

"NO!" Lizzie screamed as she grabbed her back-pack. "I THINK I MIGHT SLEEP-OVER AT A FRIENDS TONIGHT!"

Jo gave an annoyed, half-spiteful chuckle. "You can't do that! Miranda isn't expecting you!"

"Then I'll go somewhere else! Gordo's parents are at a conference this weekend! I'll go there!"

"YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT!"

"YOU ACT AS IF YOU HAD A SAY IN IT, MOM, YOU DON'T!"

Lizzie stalked out the door and slammed it behind her.

Jo opened it and ran after her daughter.

"ELIZABETH MCGUIRE, IF YOU LEAVE THIS YARD, YOU WILL LOOSE ALL YOUR TELEVISION TIME AND I WILL TAKE YOUR PHONE OUT OF YOUR ROOM!"

Lizzie didn't answer as she left the yard and turned the corner, only looking back once.

Jo stopped calling after Lizzie when Sam ran out to her side. She turned towards him and shook her head.

"My baby doesn't love me, Sam!" She broke into a mournful sob.

"Oh, Honey!" Sam took her into his gentle arms.

"She does love you! She's just…upset. She probably had a bad day. Girls stuff, you know?"

Jo didn't answer him. She just sighed and buried her face in his shoulder.

Gordo sat down to enjoy an un-interrupted night of short-films on the Culture Channel, when the doorbell rang.

"Is my life doomed to be shaped around the mercy of fellow humanities' timetable! Augh!"

Reluctantly he got up and approached the door. On the doorstep, Lizzie stood wringing her hands, nervously going over her prepared chat.

"Ok, Gordo, turns out my parents don't care about me, can I stay here tonight?"

Gordo opened the door. "Hello…Lizzie?"

Lizzie went to say what she had planned, but her words got caught in her throat. All that managed to escape her lips was a meek squeak and groan.

"Are you ok?" Gordo asked.

Lizzie took a deep breath and opened her mouth.

"Gordo lets have a sleepover?"

Gordo's mouth was agape, he raised one eyebrow and shook his head confusedly.

"Sleepover? Isn't that…I! You know my parents aren't home, right?"

Lizzie sighed and shook her head slowly.

"Oh Gordo, I am such an idiot." She looked upwards, her eyes again glistening with fresh tears. "I mean, I can't be sensitive or anything. I am so self-centred and…Gordo what's wrong with me!" She started to whine, but the whine wasn't accompanied with tears. Gordo was about to give her a hug, but Lizzie pushed him away.

"No Gordo! Don't you see? You're trying to comfort me! ME! Its all about ME ME ME! I have to be un-focused on ME and on other people!"

Gordo lifted his arms up and frustratedly flailed them in mid-air.

"Lizzie! Its ok to be self-centred! You are dealing with a really big issue, your defence is to look out for number one!"

Lizzie pouted. "Gordo, your far too analytical of my emotions!"

Gordo smirked. "Hey, I am the offspring of two psychiatrists, I had to inherit it somewhere."

Lizzie stood on his doorstep silently. She didn't want to seem presumptuous, but she did want to sleep-over. She didn't want to ask though. Gordo, being the sensitive friend saved her.

"You still up on the sleepover deal?"

Lizzie shrugged. "Yeah…I don't have Pjs though."

Gordo laughed. "It'll be fine, what are t-shirts and boxers between best-friends right?" Gordo held his hand out to accept Lizzie inside.

Lizzie smiled and took his hand. "Right!"

Gordo closed the door behind them.

"By the way, we'll be spending our evening eating cheezels and watching artsy films."

"How could I expect otherwise, Gordon?"

**A/N**

**Yay. Another day, another chapter. Sigh. I have to develop some real dramas soon though, I need something serious to happen…ah yes. I know. Lol, you will all have to wait and see, it may take a chapter or two to build up, but it'll all be good.**

**Yes, Imi, Imogene is named after you…you snookums rotunda you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N HELLO EVERYBODY, I'm back again. Sorry it's been so long, but if you check my reviews, you'll see that I had a run-in with hoards of devoted potter fans with another fic I wrote after I (admittedly) got a little tired of this one. After that, I was disillusioned from writing fanfic for a while, but I'm back again! I don't know just how often I'll be able to update, because I'm about to start College for the first time and it might be time consuming… **

**Wove you'se all!**

**Three R's of following a Fiction:**

**Remember, Read and Review!**

**Later Dayzies**

Chapter 8

Gordo and Lizzie were sitting down in front of the television, munching on junk-food and watching Germany's Best Short Film. Gordo was completely rapt in the piece "Ich bin lucid" while his companion, Lizzie, was completely bored.

"Gordo!" Let's watch a movie!"

Gordo sighed.

"We are watching a movie!"

Lizzie shook her head reached over and grabbed the remote from Gordo's hand.

"No, you are watching really boring foreign home-videos!"

She took the remote and crawled away as fast as she could to the other end of their pile of mattresses and sleeping bags.

"Hey!" He called after her, chuckling "Give that back!"

He crashed his way over beside her and a tussle over ownership of the control ensued.

After a few minutes of tug-of-war, Gordo managed to wrench the remote out of Lizzie's hand, and put it in his pocket. Lizzie pouted, waiting for him to turn around and see her pathetic face. He looked sideways for a second, caught a glimpse of the pout and chuckled. Slowly he reached for a pillow that lay on the floor beside him. Lizzie noticed and let out a squeal.

"Eeek, No!"

She grabbed the nearest cushion and a mammoth pillow come sleeping bag fight erupted between the two. Gordo whacked his weapon across Lizzie's back.

"Art house films are good for learning about different views!"

Lizzie slapped her cushion over the top of his head.

"OUT-House films are good for giving me a head-ache!"

Gordo grabbed a nearby sleeping bag and threw it on top of Lizzie.

"Why don't you..." He couldn't finish the sentence because he was laughing so hard, mostly at the muffled snorts that came from beneath the sleeping-bag.

"Why don't I what, huh, Gordo?"

Gordo flopped back on the couch, weak from laughter.

"Why don't you go take a panadol then?"

Lizzie growled jokingly, threw off the sleeping bag, jumped on the couch (Against Gordo's advice not too) and threw him onto the mattress covered floor.

"Excuse me?" She grabbed an armful of pillows and sleeping bags threw them on top of Gordo and promptly sat down on top of him, which brought forth a loud moan of pain from Gordo.

"I don't see myself being the one to take pain-relief tonight!" She continued to find various places to sit on, each rewarding her with a resounding yell. The game continued for a few minutes until a short-film that Gordo had been particularly keen on watching came on. He heard the introduction for it and tried to push Lizzie off the pile.

"Come on!" He said with a laugh "Just this one more, please!"

Lizzie folded her arms. "As long as we can watch a normal English one afterwards!"

Gordo sighed. "Ok, Ok!" He pushed Lizzie as she began to get off, he was anxious to see the film. "Hurry up, get your big fat but off me!"

_What!_

Lizzie moved quickly and sat down on the sofa. Gordo was laughing as he sat down on the ground and began to watch the film. He munched on the cheezels and held them up as an offering for Lizzie to take some; she sniffed and pushed them away with her foot.

Gordo sighed, feeling a little annoyed. "C'mon Lizzie!" He reasoned "Its just one 20 minute film!"

Lizzie raised her eyebrows with an incredulous look.

"I don't care about the stupid film! You offered me cheezels, I don't want any!"

Gordo shook his head. "You could have said so!"

Lizzie grunted and rolled over onto her side, pulling a sleeping bag over her.

Gordo turned around and thumped the bottom of the sleeping bag, he meant to thump her feet, but she scrunched them up before his hand made contact.

"What, Lizzie? Aren't we going to watch one of your movies after this?"

She shook her head. "I'm too tired. Watch your film."

He did so, but as soon as it was over, he turned around to see if she was sleeping, she wasn't, and she had been watching the film.

"Ah-ha!" He said gloatingly "You watched the film! You did like it!"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a dirk! It's so annoying when you get so "high and mighty" over stupid things!"

"Me? High and mighty? If I recall, you were the one who started the whole thing in the first place!"

"Well! If you had acted more like a friend, you would have let us watch something we'd both enjoy!"

"What? I saw you, you watched this! You didn't seem to hate it!"

"I watched it because there was nothing else BETTER on, and YOU weren't being a good friend!"

"WHAT?" Gordo flailed his arms in the air, switched channels until he found a chick-flick and flumped down in his ground-seat.

"There, you happy?"

Lizzie shot him an evil glare.

"No, I'm _not_ happy, Gordo, anyone who knows me should know that I am _not_ happy!"

Gordo tilted his head back and mouthed a realization "oh". He turned around and placed his hand on Lizzie's knee. Lizzie almost gasped.

_Why is my knee tingling?_

"Look, Lizzie, I'm sorry…but, you have to learn to express you're feelings more openly. It's hard to get exactly what you mean sometimes."

Lizzie sighed, shrugged and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry too." The two sat there quietly for a moment, Gordo's hand still resting lightly on Lizzie's knee. Lizzie noticed and coughed slightly.

"Ahem."

Gordo looked back up at her. "Yeah?"

She shot a glance down at her knee, with his hand still on it. Both blushed as he quickly relocated his hand to the bowl of cheezels.

"Uh…I think I've seen this one" He said, to disengage the awkward atmosphere.

"Huh?" Lizzie said, in a distant tone

"I said, I think I've seen this one, the lawyer lady, pink, big court case over animal rights."

"Oh…yeah, yeah." Lizzie replied. "I have too. I love this one."

Gordo again handed her the bowl of cheezels, she reached to grab a handful, but decided to take only two instead. Gordo, being himself and engaged in criticizing the movie, did not notice and continued munching them down.

Lizzie ate the two and rolled over on to her side to watch the movie. Although her eyes watched, her mind was elsewhere, and for the first time in a while, it wasn't just her mom she was thinking about, either.

_I wonder if he really thinks I'm fat..._

But it was a question she wouldn't think she'd ever dare to ask him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The mid-day heat radiated through the window as the two teens slept the next morning. Lizzie had somehow managed during the night to slip from her position on the sofa to a curled up cat-like nap spot under the coffee table. Gordo was asleep on the floor, with one leg stretched up over the arm of a nearby armchair. A second later, both jumped up to the intrusive sound of the phone ringing. Lizzie gave a small yelp as she bumped her head on the mahogany piece. Gordo rolled over and stood up, fixing his ruffled up shirt as he went along. The phone was still ringing.

"I'd better get that." He said, walking over to the phone and answering groggily

"Hello, Gordon residence, David speaking."

"Oh! Gordo! It's Mrs. McGuire!"

"Oh...Hi Mrs. McGuire" Gordo inwardly panicked, he had no idea what to say. "Um…are you well this morning?"

_Darn it, Gordo, you idiot_ He thought to himself

"Sorry…I meant, um…"

Jo shook it off "Don't worry about it Gordo, I'm dealin' with it, you can to. I'm fine thank you. Is Lizzie there?"

"Uh…hold on a second."

Lizzie was still rubbing her head from bumping it on the table.

"Yeah, she's a bit busy…um; can I get her to call you back?"

"Well, I'm in a bit of a rush, some girlfriends of mine are taking me out shopping, their treat. I couldn't refuse…I was thinking of taking Lizzie…but, if you guys are gonna be busy, I don't mind."

Gordo was panicking, he didn't know what to do or say.

_Question, ask a question, question always get you out of making decisions_

"I could ask her, if you like?"

"No, no, no, don't _worry_ 'bout it, you guys have fun, ok, tell her that she's not in trouble. See you later."

"Bye Mrs. McGuire, have fun." He put down the receiver and walked back over to Lizzie, who was still rubbing a now growing bump on her head.

"Would you like to take something for that?" He asked teasingly.

"Ha ha, funny Gordo!" she said sarcastically.

Gordo started putting the living room back into order, talking about random things for a while. When he was done, he sat down next to Lizzie on the floor.

"Soooo," He started "You gonna go home, or do you wanna hang around here some more? Either way, I don't mind."

Lizzie shrugged "I dunno. I have homework…maybe we could do it together?"

Gordo nodded. "Sure."

Several hours later Lizzie prepared to leave the Gordon residence with the destination of home. Gordo handed her back-pack to her as she stood at the door.

"Uh, thanks, Gordo…" She said, taking it.

Gordo stood there, feeling a little awkward. "Uh…Lizzie, I know it's all rough right now, but everything will be just fine in the end, ok?"

Lizzie frowned and looked away. Craning his head out sideways, he caught her eye without having to touch her, she looked back at him.

"Ok? Lizzie?"

She smiled softly and rolled her eyes. "Ok Gordo."

Giving her a comforting pat on the shoulder, she turned to walk away. As she left the drive-way he let out a solemn sigh.

_I wonder what Lizzie's thinking_

Lizzie was thinking about her long friendship with Gordo, and all that they had been through together. She laughed as she recalled the time they had been tie-dying, and how when Matt asked them what they were up to, he let out a huge wail.

"I'm dying, Matt! I'm dying!"

As she turned the corner, she caught a glimpse of Miranda's house through the trees. She recalled with mirth the time Kate had gotten covered with chili, or all the many shopping adventures they had had, which reminded her of some of the not-so-great shopping adventures. Like the time they had gone to get a bra, but had no-idea what to do.

_If it hadn't have been for Mom, I probably would have waited so much longer to get one._

She realized that her mom had actually made very important contributions to her childhood, teen hood and altogether life. Her mom had always been there to save the day.

Suddenly, Lizzie's stomach felt like a really heavy sinker had been dropped into it. Her mom had been so good to her, yet she had been acting like a real drag.

_A total drag_

Lizzie found her way to the driveway of her house, but couldn't bring herself to go in. Instead, she took a detour to the park. She strolled through slowly, taking in the scenery. She had always gone there with her parents when she was little. She looked over at the playground, at a climbing-frame. She wasn't looking at the climbing frame, but it was the spot where, years before termites ate it through, stood a cute little cubby house. She and Jo had always played "house" there. Lizzie would be the mother and Jo would be the daughter. It was a wonderful role reversal.

_I should have picked something up from it, stupid selfish me_

Lizzie found her way to a park bench and sat down, thinking of all the times in the future she would need her mother. She had always pictured her mother being the first one to hold her own newborn grandchild, with light shining through the window and a great big smile etched across her face. The image was always the same, although the father would change often, her mother had always been the main image in the picture.

Another image she had always dreamed of seeing was that of herself, her own daughter and her mother baking the secret family recipe of Peanut Butter Brownies.

_Well, technically, you can still do that without her…_

Lizzie immediately shook the thought away. "It's just not the same!"

At that moment, a young mother, sixteen or seventeen years old, came along with her toddler aged child. The child was being very demanding of the mother, who seemed to be a bit stressed out, but generally taking things in her stride.

_I wonder how she dealt with facing such a scary prospect, and growing up so quickly._

Behind her the rumble of a skateboard drew closer and came to a halt directly beside the bench.

"Yo Lizzie!" Saluted Ethan, tipping his board into his hand and sitting down beside her.

"What up dog?"

Lizzie shrugged. "Just thinking."

Ethan nodded knowingly "Yeah…thinking makes you look smart, but my dad says it doesn't get you grades…I wonder what he was getting at…" Ethan looked off into the distance with a thoughtful air about him.

The little kid in the distance began screaming really loudly, demanding his mother for something or other.

"Yikes, that is one style of fun I can definitely wait a decade for"

Lizzie chuckled awkwardly.

"Yeah, I wonder how she managed to do it though."

Ethan looked curiously at Lizzie. "Become a mommy? I'd figure you would know, but…"

Lizzie went pink. "No no, Ethan, I meant, having to become grown-up all of a sudden. To deal with a problem."

Ethan shrugged. He took on a very considerate, almost knowledgeable tone. Most people would call it "Wise" and strangely enough, often times, they were right.

"I don't reckon anybody ever _suddenly_ "grows-up", y'know?"

Lizzie shook her head.

"I think they just become more exper…experentia…experien…like, they know more stuff!"

He looked over at his park-bench companion. "Yeah!" He continued "When a dude or chick is considered to be a grown-up, it's like, 'cause they act more…what's the word?"

"Grown-up?"

"Nah…the one, the one they use for cheese…"

"Vintage?"

"No a, the old-timer's word…what's it…?"  
"Mmm…mature?"

Ethan smiled and snapped his fingers "Yeah! That's it! Smart Lizzie!"

"Just being of service…you were saying?"

"Oh yeah." Ethan continued. "They act more mature, its 'cause they have to, to be able to do the…the" He thought for a moment, then nodded his head smiling "Responsible thing"

Lizzie nodded. Ethan took on another thoughtful expression.

"I guess it's like when my mom died, my dad said I had to be more responsible."

Lizzie took a mental double-take.

"I…I just thought your parents were…divorced."

Ethan nodded. "They were. I lived with my mom and her boyfriend, till it happened. Then I lived my dad and step-mom, Toni."

Both went silent for a moment. Lizzie had a question bugging her, and she didn't know whether Ethan would be offended, he didn't seem the type to be that way, but then, most people didn't think he had genuine wisdom inside that strawberry-blond matted head either.

"Uh...Ethan, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Not at all, little Lizzie."

"Uh...how'd it happen? How'd your mom…die?"

Ethan's face changed very dramatically, he suddenly seemed different from anything Lizzie had previously known him to be.

"It was a little mini-dude. She was gonna have a baby.…I guess he didn't get where he was s'pose to get going to, and he sorta grew in the wrong place…she didn't get to the hospital in time..She…" He didn't finish. He didn't have to. The very raw emotion of anguish etched onto Ethan's face said all that needed to be said.

"How old were you?" Asked Lizzie

"Nine…well, almost ten. My birthday was in three weeks. Dad cancelled it, and I was so mad" Lizzie wasn't sure, but she could see tears in the corners of the choked- up Ethan's eyes.

"Now when I think about it, I feel so bad, 'cause that was s'pose to be the time for me to be upset about it. Now I feel like it's too late to be sad. So instead, I be happy."

"You act happy when you're sad?"

"Yeah" Ethan said, chucking Lizzie a half-hearted smile. "Like that bone in your elbow, when you hit it, you laugh. It's not funny, but it hurts so much, you can't help but laugh. Sometimes that's what it's like when I try to feel sad about my mom…"

Suddenly, Lizzie didn't feel like her problems were the rest of the worlds anymore.

_Maybe this is growing up._

They sat quietly for a few moments. Ethan looked up and around them, looking for somebody who wasn't there.

"Hey, where's the Gor-don and Miranda? Don't you guys always posse together?"

Lizzie nodded and shrugged, feeling a bit better than she had for a while.

"I sorta needed to be alone. Think about things, I guess."

"Yeah." Ethan agreed "You're always doing smart-Lizzie things like that…I do better as a…action guy." He nodded his head smiling. "Yeah, action, I do better when I don't think…no…that's not right…"

Lizzie chuckled "I know what you mean; I wish I didn't think so much sometimes."

Ethan stood up and set his skate-board on the ground, placing one foot on it, he raised his hand in a farewell wave.

"Well, Lizzie, I'm gonna go surf the pavement of Hillridge!" He pushed away "See you at school!"

Lizzie waved goodbye and continued to sit quietly on the bench.

_I guess I had better get home, it's almost 5…_

With that, realization dawned upon Lizzie; she hadn't showered since the previous morning…she must have reeked…or stunk….or something.

_OMG OMG OMG! ETHAN CRAFT SMELT ME! EEK!_

Lizzie stood up and paced for home, dearly hoping she wouldn't run into anyone on the way. In her mind she began chanting a new mantra.

"Stop thinking, start doing."

_I might even get a job…argh, Lizzie, get home now!_

**A/N I have tried so hard to find somewhere to put Ethan!( He is one of my two favorite characters) I found it! I realised that he has a step-mum but we don't know much about his actual mum, so thats where this sequence was born out of. I was originally going to have "a major conversation" between either Lizzie and Gordo or her Dad, but I felt that the person needed to be a) a new character and b) someone Lizzie wasn't entirely close to, so it wouldn't be awkward...although it was sorta one sided, it still provided some major relief for Lizzie.**

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	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Lizzie arrived back at the house puffed out and dripping with sweat. She felt gross before but now she felt simply disgusting.Walking up onto the porch; she could hear Matt and Lanny in the garage, most likely making a mess. She opened the door and glanced around inside, deciding her best bet was to make a dash for the bathroom, so that she wouldn't have to deal with possible parental confrontation already weakened by her self-consciousness. To her missfortune, Sam managed to catch her from the living room.

"Lizzie! Could you hold on a minute there?" He called as he got up from the sofa.

Lizzie inwardly groaned as he made his way over to her, she turned to face him and folded her arms, almost protectively, in front of herself.

"Yeah?" She asked.

Sam could see from the girl's expression that she was either in a bad mood, or had something else on her agenda.

_Stand firm, Sam! _

"Uh…Lizzie, about what happened yesterday…"

Lizzie sighed huffily, feeling a combination of annoyance and panic.

_Uh-oh Lizzie, confrontation time_

"Yeah Dad?" She responded, with a little shake of her head. It momentarily stalled Sam, who was trying to figure out how so many attitudes could be injected into such a small head-gesture.

"Uh…um, well, you know that, it was…wrong…to use that as an excuse, I mean…well, not wrong if it was true…I mean, you lied Lizzie. That was wrong."

Lizzie nodded her head. She was still feeling a bit annoyed.

"And? Am I grounded?"

Sam was thinking about it, right up to that particular moment, he had his finger raised waiting to lay down the law, but seeing as Lizzie obviously didn't care much about such a punishment, he had to think of something quick.

"No…No, I don't think uh…think that's gonna work for you, Lizzie."

Lizzie raised her eyebrow.

Sam continued.

"No, you are going to apologize to your mother. You hurt her feelings. That's the main thing."

Lizzie felt a jolt of pure terror. It was one thing to apologize to someone; it was another to apologize to your mother, your mother who would no doubt be hurt and upset.

This terror manifested itself verbally in Lizzie as defiance.

"What? That's not a punishment! How does that count as a punishment?"

Sam knew he was heading in the right direction.

"Nevertheless Lizzie, whether it's a "real" punishment or not, which it isn't really, I expect you to apologize to mom for being so in-considerate of her feelings."

Lizzie stomped her foot.

"But Dad! I didn't have to call Mom! She shouldn't be offended by me not calling her!"

"Lizzie!" Sam chided. "This is not about the phone-call. This is about yesterday afternoon."

Lizzie made an exclamation somewhere between a growl and a screech.

"BUT DAD! You said this was about YESTERDAY and me LYING."

Sam was getting unsure of his position. He had to regain control of the situation.

"I DON'T CARE!" He cried. Lizzie shut up.

He continued.

"You hurt her feelings, and you will apologize when she gets home. Stress isn't good for her Lizzie! She feels guilty about what happened yesterday."

Suddenly, Lizzie felt very small and very much in the wrong. She didn't know what to say, she was in a state of almost-complete agreement, yet her pride would not allow her to comply with formality. There wasn't much else for her to say in her defense, so she decided to raise the white flag in the safest way possible.

"Whatever."

Sam mistook the term as a reference to her indifference.

"Lizzie?"

She frustratedly sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I said I'd do it, ok?"

Sam nodded. "Ok."

Lizzie shook her head, turned and proceeded up the stairs. At that moment, the echoing yell of Matt could be heard across the house.

"WHERE'S THE BI-CARBONATE SODA!"

Upstairs, Lizzie was preparing to go into the bathroom she and Matt shared, only to find it entirely strewn with bottles and turned out cabinets. She didn't feel in the mood to clean it up, or to shower with all the junk on the floor, so she decided to shower in her parent's en-suite bathroom instead. Discarding her two-day in a row outfit in the laundry basket, she turned on the shower and the shower-radio and stood under the steamy pelt of the refreshing and relaxing water.

Matt was in the kitchen turning out cupboards and tipping over baking goods, while his silent companion stood watching. He sighed as he stood up and turned to Lanny.

"It's useless Lanny! What good is a volcano without Bi-Carb Soda?"

Both boys put their hands under their chins and sat thinking.

Sam walked in carrying some bills he intended to fill out; he noticed the state of the kitchen, and the state of the boys.

"Uh…Matt, would you like to explain what exactly is going on here?"

Matt turned miserably and stared forlornly at his father.

"We can't find the bi-carb soda. We're making a volcano for our science project."

Sam nodded. "Uh-huh…" Responded Sam, not entirely sure if he wanted the boys to be creating such a big mess.

Matt sighed; Lanny poked him in the arm and threw him a few clue-full expressions.

Clicking his finger and smiling broadly Matt agreed "That's right Lanny! Real volcanoes have _sulfur _in them! We can find sulfur instead!"

Sam decided to intervene. Urgently.

"Uh…wait a minute, hang on there guys."

Both halted and looked up curiously.

"Matt," Sam started "Why don't you try under your bed…it's where you found the vinegar…and all other unknown secrets of this realm"

Matt nodded slowly. "I could give it another shot I guess. Come on Lanny." He said enthusiastically grabbing his friend by the arm.

"Thanks Dad!"

"Don't mention it."

The two ran up the stairs. Leaving a bewildered Sam to clean up the kitchen.

"Don't mention it at all."

Lizzie was singing along to the tunes of the radio. She never sang in public, but she had always considered herself to have an okay singing voice, for private, at least. She reached up and grabbed the shampoo. She had quite a bit of hair on her head, so she would usually just tip the bottle upside down straight onto it. This wasn't her normal bottle of shampoo, and the lid was quite loosely screwed on. As she tipped it up, the cap fell off, slipped down her face and hit her on the nose. The thick liquid quickly gooped down over her head and into her eyes.

"OH NO, Ouch ouch ouch!" She threw the bottle down onto the ground and began trying to get the painful stuff out of her eyes.

One boy sat on the bed, reading a comic, while the other one was scuffling about underneath. After a few moments, Matt came out holding nothing but a really old apple core.

"Hey look, Lanny! An Apple core!"

Lanny nodded his head profusely.

Matt sighed. "But apple cores don't have bi-carbonate soda in them do they?"

Lanny shrugged. He lifted up the comic and Matt grabbed for it.

"I love this one!" As he tore the comic out of Lanny's grip, the edge of his index finger ran over the sharp corner of the paper.

"Ow!" He cried, cradling the injury. "It gave me a paper cut! I'd better get a bandage."

Lanny's eyes brightened up and he grabbed Matt by the corner of his shirt.

"What is it Lanny?"

A few more clue-full expressions. Matt's eyes took on a new brightness as he agreed.

"Of course! Science First-aide! Bi-carb soda might be in Mom and Dad's first aide kit, it's in their bathroom!"

He stood up and ran out the door, but he slowed down when he heard the sound of Lizzie's voice echoing through the hall, right from their parent's en-suite bathroom.

He turned around slowly. "It could be dangerous…do I risk being yelled at by my sister for the rest of my life for science?"

Lanny nodded one affirmative nod.

Matt took on a very sneaky look and nodded slowly.

"Lanny, keep an eye out for my dad." He said, taking a few steps out the door. "I'm goin' in!"

Lizzie had managed to get most of the shampoo out of her eyes, but now her vision was blurred to a degree.

Matt quietly opened the door, relieved that his parents shower was solid and with non-see-through curtains. He slipped softly over to the cupboard beside the shower, and began searching for the first-aide kit. He couldn't help but snicker at his sisters singing skills.

_I wish I brought my tape-recorder_

He decided to get on with his mission. He turned out the closet, but was having difficulties finding the kit. He found a huge bottle of blue Listerine, and wondered it if had any volcano uses, he reached out for it, but just like the shampoo bottle, the user of the Listerine did not care for screwing on lids. The bottle slipped from the cap and almost as though it was slow motion, the bottle fell to the floor with a resounding slosh and Listerine spilt all over the small bathroom floor, trickling down the drain that sat in the middle of it.

Lizzie stopped, she heard that.

"Who's there?" She called out.

Meanwhile, Lanny sat on the top of the stairs, keeping watch. Just then, Sam came walking up the stairs, box of bi-carbonate soda in hand, looking for Matt. Lanny stood up quickly and grabbed the man by the shoulders, nodding very quickly.

"Uh…yeah, Lanny, I gotta go get Matt, where is he?"

Lanny shrugged and stood in the space between the stairs and the hall, he started to do something of a hip-hop break-down…without sound.

Sam was confused.

Matt did not dare reveal himself, spotting the first aide kit; he grabbed it and attempted to make a rush for it. Lizzie, wondering what had set of the noise, turned off the shower and grabbed her towel. Wrapping it around herself, she stepped out of the shower. She saw her brother grab the first-aide kit. She was furious.

Sam's confusion quickly grew from that to frustration.

"Lanny! Where is Matt? Is he doing something he isn't supposed to?"

Lanny's eyes flashed, he shot Sam a cheesy grin.

Lizzie screeched.

"MATT!" With one hand holding her towel in place and the other aiming for Matt's hair, she lurched out at him, only to have one foot slip on the Listerine covered tiles and topple unceremoniously backwards, into the shower, right on her but. The result was that the towel, having been dragged rapidly in another direction, ended up on the floor, quite separate from Lizzie's body.

Matt screamed.

"AHHHHHH!" He rapidly turned about face, away from Lizzie and froze.

Lizzie screamed.

"AHHH! MATT GET OUT!" She tried to reach for her towel. Matt was frozen, unlike himself, but he had never been in a situation like that before.

Sam heard the scream and pushed passed Lanny, who slapped his fore-head and ran for the door, out the door, right outside the house, and the entire three blocks to his home.

Sam approached the bathroom.

"KIDS? WHATS GOING ON?"

At this moment, he reached the door. Matt screamed his warning.

"DAD NOOO"

Lizzie, having failed to reach her towel, grabbed for the shower curtain instead, pulling it over so fast that there was a terrible shredding sound, the whole thing flying off the rung and landing on top of her.

_At least I'm covered... ARG, my brother just saw me NAKED eww eww eeww_

He had the same on his mind

_GROSS, LIZZIE NAKED! URGH..MY EYES MUST BE BURNED...ARGH_

Matt looked up at his father, who was as red as Matt was pale. He dropped the bi-carb on the floor and turned around in a flash, just as Matt did.

"Matt, outta here, now!" He said pushing his son out of the room.

"But my bi-carb, I saw you drop it!"

"LATER MATT!"

The two left an equally humiliated Lizzie, lying in the shower, decorated with plastic floral curtains and surrounded by a sea of Listerine.

An hour later, Lizzie was sitting up in her room doing homework, she was just working out a quantity surveying problem when Matt walked in, bearing a plate of cookies.

Lizzie looked over at her brother.

"Dad told me to tell you…"

"That you're a complete and total dork?"

Matt groaned and put the food on the desk.

"That I had to say sorry."

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "That's his favorite punishment lately."

Matt sighed.

"Well, I have to. Sorry. There."

Lizzie sniffed and grabbed a cookie, "Thanks for your _sincerest_ apologies."

"Well, I am _sorry_, sorry that you got so uptight about me running in and out of the bathroom to grab something for a science project."

"But that's not the point, Matt! You didn't say you were! You didn't even knock! You were being a sneaky little brat! It was an invasion of my privacy!"

"C'mon! I couldn't even see you!"

Lizzie threw him a sarcastic glare.

"Well," He continued "Not till you freaked out anyway!"

"I wouldn't have freaked out if you hadn't have SNUCK IN!"

Matt stole a cookie from her plate. Lizzie stole it back.

"Those are MY apology cookies!"

She took a huge bite; Matt took another and shoved it in his mouth. It looked sort of funny. Lizzie couldn't help it. She giggled.

Matt sighed in relief; he wasn't in too much trouble.

"When we were little, you didn't care if I saw you in the bath. We used to take baths together all the time."

Lizzie smiled reminiscently. "Yeah, I remember, the Adventures of Matt-Man and Lizzie-Lee in Bubble-Bath Land, we'd fight over the squeaky dolphin toy."

Both sigh as they remember the care-free days of their child-hood.

"Lizzie?" Matt asked "What changed?"

"Huh?" She asked

"What happened to those days, before you used to get so uptight about every little thing?"

Lizzie shrugged and doodled with her pen.

"I didn't get uptight about _everything_. I just took it out on you, Mom and Dad. You were the easiest targets I guess, 'cause I knew you'd forgive me anyway. I guess I'm really sorry about that. It happens when you grow-up"

Matt raised an eyebrow. "You get mad at people and say sorry?" He grabbed another cookie, and considered it while he spoke. "I dunno, Lizzie, but if I had a choice, I'd rather stick with the sweet sincerity of childhood."

Lizzie chuckled. "That's just it Matt, you don't have a choice, I didn't have a choice. When things start happening, no-body has a choice. It's just how it is. Its no-bodies fault."

The young boy looked his sister carefully in the eye.

"Like Mom."

Lizzie sighed, she knew she took her brother for granted, she knew she took her whole family for granted.

"Yeah, like Mom."

The plate was emptied of its cookies, and Matt, having fulfilled his duty, took the plate and turned to leave. Lizzie decided to throw in one final comment.

"Oh, and Matt!" She calls out. "Sweet sincerity of childhood? Give me a break!"

Matt stuck his tongue out.

"Looser!"

Lizzie shot him an evil glare.

"DORK! Leave already, I have homework."

Lizzie was preparing for bed when Jo walked into the room.

"Hey honey…can we talk?"

Lizzie felt another heavy cold object drop into her stomach. She nodded.

Jo walked over and sat on the bed next to her daughter.

Lizzie went to make her apology.

"Look, Mom, about-"

But Jo cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo, I understand it's all a bit messed up for everyone right now. I just wish you'd let me in a little more. I do understand the feelinsg you're going through."

Lizzie felt tears spring to her eyes, she didn't want to make her mom feel left out, it just, happened. Jo saw them in her daughter's eyes and put her hands on Lizzie's shoulders.

"Oh Lizzie, its all out of order right now, but things will turn out!"

Lizzie chuckled. "That's what Gordo said."

Jo nodded. "And he's right! You have a good friend in Gordo. You have a lot of support."

Lizzie smiled, but it became increasingly hard for her to hold back tears, her face crumbled and she looked away.

"But Mom, it's not me who needs supporting…its you. And I've been so selfish about it. I've been pretending that you're ok…or that you're mad at me, or that I don't need you or…or…" Lizzie began to sob; Jo took her child into her comforting arms.

"Now, hang on a second, buddy, just 'cause I have cancer doesn't mean it's the end of normality." She lifted Lizzie's chin to look her in the eyes. "I'm still gonna be your Mom and no matter…" She took in a shuddering breath "No matter how hard things get, I will always, always, love and be there for you. Always."

Jo was crying openly now and despite the fact that Lizzie was overwhelmingly glad to be on good-terms with her mother, it still felt very awkward.

After a few moments, Jo let go of the embrace and smiled at her daughter.

"Ok, good night honey. And remember, if tomorrow has something to bring, we'll let it. No more being bitter about whatever life has to throw at us."

Lizzie smiled.

"Ok mom."

**A/N**

**Wow, that was fun, Its my longest chapter yet, yet of all the synopsises i right, the one for this is the shortest. I just kept on coming up with ideas. First, Sam accidentally walks in, then Matt...then Matt AND Sam...and then Lanny could easily have a place! It all just came to me! I wasn't gonna do an apology scene between Lizzie and Jo, but the scenario called for it, and I think its about time Lizzie faces the music, its chapter 10 allready!**

**I am considering putting this under Drama/comedy too, because it's got comedy features (at least I intend for it to) that's because life has its funny points. What to you guys think? Should I put this under two genres? Or leave it as plain Drama?**

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	11. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

Jo's illness and treatment brought many subtle changes to the McGuire Household. A most notable truce occured between Matt and Lizzie. This was not to say that they had forgiven each other of their faults, or that they didn't have their "disagreements" (of which there were still very many). Somehow, they had silently come to an agreement not to let any argument get to a point where their parents, particularily Jo, had to intervene. This held many more benefits than the kids ever thought would occur. First of all, the realisation that most arguments were pointless lead to many more laughing moments between the two. They found that they could bond over the smallest incidences. Sometimes, in the afternoon after they had done their homework, Matt would search the archives of VHS collections for shows they'd watch constantly as little kids, and pop them into the VCR. It helped ease them into a new and more comfortable relationship based on the good times. They also found that, without letting any argument get to the point of parental intervention, tension and stress levels in the house dropped somewhat. Most arguments occured when they each needed space. In those days, it was happening quite a bit, as they each had to discover their own ways of dealing with Jo's illness. It took a while, but soon they realised that rather than fueling a fight, it was best to just leave when a situation became tense. This, naturally, was never easy, as both of them always felt that they were truly in the right. In the end, humility was one of the things they had to learn slowly and painfully.

Another change was that of Jo's health. A week following the "bathroom incident" and the apologies, Jo began her first round of Radiotherapy. Each session involved a week-long hospital stay and several weeks of nasuea and general ill-health following it. This was extremely taxing on everyone, but most notably Sam, as he not only had to deal with caring for his beloved wife, but he had the home to run, the kids to raise and his career to keep on track. The stress of the months ensuing took years off of his face and he never quite recovered his once youthful vigour. Add to all this the constant problems arising out of Lizzie's hormonal moodiness (as well as Jo's, and before too long, Matt's as well) His relationship with his teenaged daughter suffered immensly as a result of the stress he constantly felt. Despite attempts to bond with each other, they didn't ever fully repair the relationship to the Best Friends Forever+ Father and Princess style it had once been. Then again, who actually knew? Perhaps this was how all fathers had to go with their daughters. Perhaps, in order for her to find that special (and hopefully forever) someone to fill their life, they had to break some emotional ties with that somone who had occupied their life for the many years beforehand.Maybe this was what it meant to "give them away"

Despite the disconnection they suffered, Lizzie and her father remained on good terms, and still loved each other grandly for all their life. Lizzie tried her best never to feel bitter about any injustice she incurred as a result of her father's parenting during the time of Jo's treatment. This helped with the healing time between them.

Jo herself became physically, emotionally and psychologically depleted. During the 18 month course of her treatment, she lost nearly thirty pounds, due to a lack of thrive. There were many days of depression where she could not even face the day, and spent them lying in bed. It took many years for her to regain her confidence and the vitality she once had. Fortunately, she overcame the cancer, but not without everlasting consequences. It was discovered early into her treatment that the cancer had spread from her ovaries to her womb. Fearing it would transfer to her cervix, or into her bloodstream and on elsewhere, she required a hysterectomy. Doctors targetted her pituitary gland and other hormonal centres. It took a year and a half for Jo to become clear of cancer, and another 3 years to regain the health she'd once taken for granted. Every 6 months brought a terrifingly and angst-filled check-up, which inlcuded tests for any strains of cancer. Thankfully, she remained in remission. Because the delicate hormones provided by her body were, for the most part, destroyed, it became difficult for Jo and Sam to maintain the level of intimacy they needed as partners. This had a significant strain on their relationship (which had a strain on the emotional wellbeing of Lizzie and the now teenaged Matt), in the end, they took up the good advice of their psychiatrist friends and entrered into marriage counseling. Jo required hormonal replacements for the rest of her life(to maintain an interest in certain activities), but this did not affect her in any significant way, beyond the occasional sigh thinking about what once was.

Matt had the misfortune of entering puberty amidst all the turmoil, and with Sam being otherwise pre-occupied, his middle teen years became years of confusion, well, perhaps more-so than the "nrom". Matt's final year of Junior High and First Year of Highschool were a mess.He struggled finding his identtity, and found himself mixing in with "the wrong crowd.". Eventually, his track of self-destruction was intervened with, before it became serious. This intervention took place in the form of a summer-long stint with a youth service. He spent this time in the wilderness, learning to rely on not only his self, but on the positive aspects of others. He learnt that it was never meant to be easy dealing with life's problems, but that with supportive peers and guides, he was worth something and capable of bringing himself happiness and personal success in any situation. Matt fought through his depressionable stage and went on to become a Public Relations officer (he always had a way with words and people). In adulthood, he and Lizzie maintained a close friendship.

Lizzie McGuire...well, a lot of things happened to lizzie. The events of Jo's cancer left her feeling more out of place than most teenaged girls her age. She had to fight through the hardest years of adolescence while her mother stood in the distance, too sick to give her the hand-up she so desperately needed most of the time. Despite attempts by her mother to build a bridge between Lizzie and her dad, it never became the support system she needed. Lizzie's support came in several forms, the most prominent being her brother, and her two strongest friendships . Gordo and Lizzie went on to become involved romantically for some time. They broke it off in favour of friendship, deciding it was the way to go for them. Lizzie went on to finnish highschool tenth out of the whole class of three-hundred. Gordo was valedictorian. Miranda was just happy to get into her Textile Design Course. Gordo decided to give any form of medicine a miss (despite his parents trying to convince him into psychiatry). In the end, he chose Laboratory Sciences, and went on to become chief researcher for Physics after recieiving his Doctorate in the subject, so in turn, he did become a doctor after all.

Lizzie tried several career options, including Vet Sciences, High-School Math teaching and a Bachelor of Performance Arts (in Dance) before settling into a Communications degree. She graduated at Twenty-six and went on to write an advice collumn for a teen-girls magazine. She met the man of her dreams working for the magazine (he worked for the IT department). They eventually married, with Miranda and Gordo as bridesmaids (sorry, Brides-maide and Brides-manservant).

And three years of wedded bliss brings everyone to where they are now.

Sun glistens through the third floor window. An extremely exhausted Lizzie McGuire-Stanley lies back in her bed as she contentedly observes the aww-filled cooing faces of her closest family and friends. They gaze adoringly at the pink wrinkledness that is Hailey Joanna McGuire-Stanley, 6 Pounds, 7 ounces. She can't help but let a sob escape as her first daughter is placed into the arms of her mother, and Hailey's Nana.

And not for the first time in her life, Lizzie felt a strange combination of feelings. All at once, she felt like a scared and terrified little child, wanting to grab hold of her mother's legs. Not wanting to let go as she must venture on into the new world of kindergarten (or in this case, motherhood). Yet, she also felt more grown-up than she had ever felt before.

It dawned on her that this was what it meant to be an adult. Aware of the fact that it is impossible to ever be totally in one stage, and accepting that we may never achieve whatever our true impression of adulthood may be.

And on that thought, Lizzie closed her eyes to take advantage of what would be the last chance to have a solid think about all of life's what-ifs, as she mentally prepared for the task of being the mother. The eternal well of knowledge.

The End.

**Authors Note:**

**I'm soooooo sorry I left that all hanging! But I got very very pre-occupied (and lazy) at college over the passed year and a half.**

**I decided to finnish it there, having originally planned to do so much more. Then I read it over and thought to myself "Why, she has made some very good revelations, no need to put her through much more stress."**

**I had originally intended to give her bullimia and actually explore Matt's depression and fall-out. I decided against bullimia because it just seemed too...well, much. Adding on to what she already discovered seemed like too much. I have now tied the story off. I also toyed with the idea of having Jo lose the battle, but that seemed too dark for me, and I wanted to end it the way I did. It seemed more appropriate.**

**I apologize for commiting the un-pardonable Fanfic sin, that of not finnishing. Now I have. That is not to say I haven't thought about this fic, not one week went by where I didn't think about "what if's". I wanted to know how it ended, so I sat down with my computer and let it end.**

**I hope you have found as much resolution as I have.**

**THANKYOU for WAITING**


End file.
